Some time ago, my FB newsfeed had a breaking new, the conscious uncoupling of Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband. I don’t follow the news that closely that I don’t even know who her husband was. It was received by different groups as something respectable a very mature handling of the situation. Even psychologists weighed in on it. indicating that it is not a new thought. Bottom line is it is still letting go being able to come to terms that a relationship that once existed is not there anymore. True for a couple the uncoupling can be had amicably, but what if it not voluntary, something that is not planned, an accident perhaps? A parent losing a child or a child losing a parent, friends, people where strong connections are formed.
I feel that separation needs a certain degree of time for it to marinate in one’s consciousness then there will be acceptance. A friend who got married not too late in life always has feelings of anxiety unless her husband comes home. She said that she always looks outside the half expecting the police with the sad news. Imagine how hard it is the stress of waiting. This patter is causing her not to fully enjoy the company of her husband because of that feeling for foreboding.
Some relationships are just meant to be savored for a short period of time and therefore the inevitable end comes, some would try harming themselves so that the other party will not leave, but that is cheating, because the reciprocity of feelings is gone.But the memory that it leaves shouldn’t be left behind, after all it caused the heart to flutter a certain excitement was present.
What about the parents letting go of their children who left early, it is my request to Lordy that my mom please not bury her children as she will probably be too distraught to handle it. But this things we don’t have control of, a friend of mine whose daughter passed while in high school was so sad, i can feel her heart trembling. But she decided to dedicate her energies to a good cause, fund raise in honor of her daughter to send other less fortunate sons and daughters to college.
Indeed there are so many ways to deal with loss but because we are different individuals, we deal with it or NOT in ways that only we can answer. But most of all don’t bottle it up, talk about it, for only when we share our emotions, is when our burdens become light. What can I offer but to distract but food.
Palitaw (literally to float in English) is a Filipino delicacy made of rice flour and water. So with two cups of blutinous rice flour , I used mochiko, pictured below, I guess you can grind your own glutinous rice add a cup of water, mix well to dough consistency. Once this is done, boil water, 2 teaspoonful of dough balled and then flatten, put in the boiling water, once it floats then it is cooked. Oh you need roasted sesame seeds, maybe just 3 teaspoons and enough sugar. Mix the sesame seeds and sugar in a small plate and then roll the cooked palitaw for flavor.
This is best enjoyed with tea regular or ginger tea. But let me leave you with this love and compassion is a gift handed to us by God, a gift that we need to savor, enjoy and feed our souls with. It shouldn’t be a cause for our anguish.