“He is nice, but he ..”
“She is, but..”
“I wish I have”
This is a common response in most conversations, there doesn’t seem to have contentment, a satisfaction of what is given. A proof to the dictum that I first learned in Economics, “Man by nature is insatiable”.
As I ponder on this, it seems that relationships would have worked if there is no box that has to be satisfied, a box of criteria of the ideal. If only he talks this way, if only she wears clothes this way. In our effort to find what is perfect in our eyes, we try to shape them into what they are not, to satisfy the mold that we believe is right. In the end we are stuck with somebody we don’t know, who don’t know themselves, by us whom we can’t say who because we kept changing to satisfy that norm.
It is complicated isn’t it? And the victims of all this is us and our relationships. Looking deeper into this scenario, makes me realize that it is just not that conformity that is at fault. It seems that with that desire to mold someone, we lose our respect for that person, our trust in them that they can do it on their own, and the ability to allow them to be individuals. Individuals of their own and still be able to connect to them at all levels. Is relationship really like that? Should it be constrictive, restrictive, oppressive?